A Warm Place

Its been a long adventure for me, but I finally found my place in a group. Obtaining a close best friend was never a hard task. I had never really been accustomed or even satisfied with a group of friends-they never showed much devotion towards me like one friend could. This hesitation towards groups stayed with me for ages. The jock group, the skaters, the outcasts, the video game elites- my existence in the group always felt askew. Each group I migrated to I thought I had found my niche. But something would always step in the way.

There would always be one person that despised my timid behavior. I also would make the greatest mistake of dating someone within my group, only to tarnish the relationships around it and have everyone turn against me. My obsessive infatuation towards women would blind me, risking my friendships, for someone I did not necessarily care about. I just thought I did. Whatever the cause, the effect would always be the same. With my self esteem bleary, I would have to start from square one and scrounge for yet another group I could join.

The previous group I had been introduced to (because I cannot independently find an appropriate group for myself) had to be one of the most dysfunctional arrangements of adolescents I have encountered in my eighteen year existence-I've should have known since they all went to Highlands. It consisted of a controlling psychopathic atheist, her manipulative boyfriend, an oblivious schmuck whose hair was as repulsive as him, and her devoted followers.

Soon, before I even knew the true injustices of the group, certain members were revolting against the government. Puzzled, I did not know what side was comparable to my tastes. Being brainwashed by aristocracy, I was vexed that anyone would not be loyal to the group.

One thing made me look the other way, however. My best friend joined that revolution, being someone who always hated the aristocrat. It was then when I decided to ponder the reasons why I did not feel the same way. Bit by bit, I compared the groups together and noticed something missing. This aristocracy had no feeling towards me, it never encouraged me to join, it never made me feel welcome. It was just an arrangement of peasants pleasing the one who she thought meant most. I was repulsed by it and I knew then to join the revolution.

There are times when I wish I could take back that year of my life. I cannot explain the extremity of being tricked and lied to. But fate is still fate. I chose the mistake to join that aristocracy. But even after the pain, the funny matter of fact is, it was worth it.

If i had not been through all those odd times, the pain, the uncomfortable events, then I would have not found my current group. If it was not for all the awkward events I was forced in by the aristocrat, I would not be able to laugh about it now with my friends and I wouldn't be close to the new group I'm in right now. My best friend from grade school, who brought me into this mess, also gave me the courage to step out of the cage. Because of him, I broke free from aristocracy, and I can rest now in a warm place.